Saying no is more powerful than you probably thing. When was the last time you watched a bee as it busily went from flower to flower collecting the nectar and pollen that would become the life saving energy source for the larvae back at the hive? While some bees are happy to collect pollen from many different plants and flowers, others specialize in only collecting from certain species. The honey produced in the hives of these specialist bees is highly sought after for its unique qualities and flavors.
In our life choices, we can be like the specialist honeybee, taking the good things offered to us in life, and rejecting the rest that will potentially harm us, or our quality of life. Learning to say no is a powerful tool that many of us rarely, if ever use. Learning to reject or say no to what will hurt or harm us in the long term is the key to reducing the amount of stress we carry each day and to feeling better about ourselves, but also the choices we make. As we learn to reject the things that will harm us, we are more inclined to accept the things that will help us. Perhaps more importantly, we are able to learn to tell the difference between the two.
How can you tell the difference between what to accept and what to reject to help you stay stress free? Most of us know instinctively what is going to cause us distress. These things must be rejected from our life. But what of those things that will cause us stress but not distress? Can we trust our instincts with them?
Growing through stress is not a bad thing and sometimes we do need to move outside of our comfort zone to achieve progress in our life. The key to knowing what will produce good stress and what will produce negative stress is to have a life plan and only accepting those things that contribute to our life plan. Saying no to other things, helps keep us focused on our goals and thinking positively about our life experiences.
You know how the old saying goes, “Spend most of your time on the right things and the rest takes care of itself”… You do not have to seek perfection, you simply need to just get started. To many people feel inadequate about themselves. We are all unique and have so much to offer the world if we just simply try. Never give up even when you think you are failing. Your life should have value. Live for what truly matters to you. Surround yourself with positive influences. You will see the change all around you once you learn to let go of the negative.
You are in the drivers seat of your own life and being able to say no reflects that. It not only makes you feel empowered but also in control of your life. More often than not we feel obligated to be a “people pleaser”. You end up taking on tasks that you really hate to do simply because you want to lend a hand to someone. Meanwhile this drains you and makes you unhappy thereby creating unnecessary stress in your life. Forget trying to please everyone. If these people are meant to be in your life, they will remain there even if you say no. There is nothing wrong in saying no. Learn to say no to the people, situations, and commitments that do not move you toward your goal, that distract you, or that you simply do not enjoy.
Setting boundaries is important. High achievers learn easy on that saying no allows them to get the important things done. Learning to say no to the things that do not matter allows us the availability to say yes to the things that do matter. Start today. Learn to follow that inner voice that leads you to greater things.